Summmmmeeeerrrrr Vacation!!

And the one year of law school countdown has begun!!

And I promise it'll be crafts and fun times around here again soon!

And so ready for some lake time!!

One Week

This is story of the last few days of Roy's life.  It's sad, but I feel compelled to share, in part because Roy deserves it and in part for my own cathartic reasons.  I try not to write about overly emotional things, but this has consumed my life for the past week.  Bear with me and we'll get back to crafts and cooking soon.

Easter Sunday was one of the best days of my life.  The library was closed so my study group met to outline on Saturday.  I made the decision, in advance, to completely ignore school for that day.  It was beautiful.  Jason and Roy went for a run in the morning and I prepared a beautiful brunch, which I will write about soon.  Brunch lazily faded into the afternoon.  And we spent it snuggled up together, all four of us, watching the Masters and dozing away.  I made a fantastic dinner, which I will also write about soon.  And our perfect day slowly came to an end.

On Monday night and into Tuesday Roy got sick.  He started throwing up everywhere and refused to eat or drink.  We initially thought that he just ate something weird; the dog used to eat the craziest things.  When he wasn't better on Wednesday I took him into the vet.

The vet suspected a bone lodged in his stomach or small intestine was the culprit.  They hooked Roy up to an IV because he was dehydrated and gave him some anti-nausea medicine.  I sat with him the entire time in the vet's office.  When I asked if I could the vet seemed surprised.  Apparently most people do not choose to spend their entire day sitting on the floor of a vet's office.  But I grabbed my con law book and did just that.  I knew he wasn't feeling well and I didn't want to leave him alone.  The vet and I agreed that if Roy wasn't eating by the next morning that he would undergo surgery to remove the bone.

Thursday morning, I prepared Roy the meal the vet suggested: rice and chicken.  I cooked two entire chicken breasts, because as I told Jason...he'll eat them eventually.  Only that was wrong.  Roy wouldn't eat.  Or drink.  I even tried to cram some food into his mouth and he gagged it back out.  I knew surgery was inevitable.  So I drove him to the vet's office and walked him inside.  I never suspected that would be the last time I would ever see him walk.  The vet planned on putting Roy back on an IV and then performing surgery around 1:00pm.  There was no option of me staying this time, so I returned home and paced around my house.  I never expected any severe complications, but the idea of someone cutting open Roy's stomach made me uneasy.

Around 1:45 the vet called.  Roy's situation was serious.  The vet could see a good deal of inflammation and infection, but he couldn't tell what was causing it.  The vet gave me two options: take him to a specialist surgeon or put him down.  I felt like the world was caving in, but I pulled myself together and drove to pick up Roy.  After he was lucid enough to be carried to the car, we were off to the surgeon.

The surgeon suggested several possibilities as to what was wrong with Roy.  Some were really bad and some were only bad.  But the only way to find out would be another surgery.  So I sat with Roy on the floor of the surgeon's office and waited until they were ready.

They wheeled Roy into surgery and I walked aimless around the surgeon's office and eventually ended up sitting in my car.  I knew Roy's situation was serious, but I never seriously thought he wouldn't live.  The whole time I was sitting in the car, I was thinking about how happy I'd be when this day was over and we could all go home.  45 minutes after Roy went into surgery, the surgeon called.

This is the very last picture I have of Roy.  It was taken about 5 minutes before he went into surgery, the second time.

The prognosis was heart wrenching.  Roy had a very severe and very advanced case of pancreatitis.  Our only option was to put him in ICU for 5-7 days, being fed through a tube, on a ventilator, pumped full of narcotics and antibiotics.  And with all of that, his chances of survival were only 50%.  And if he did in fact survive, he likely would not have lived a normal life and had a very high risk of the pancreatitis reoccurring.  Jason was stuck at work so the surgeon called to speak with him.  Being the more rational one, he point blank asked the surgeon if he would do it.  The surgeon gave a very evasive and non-committimental answer, which we both understood to mean no.  And so, we made the impossibly difficult decision to put Roy down.  To say that I was devastated would be an understatement.  I have no doubt that everyone in the surgeon's office could hear me sobbing.  The tech who brought me the papers was crying.  It was such a hellish nightmare.  I was with Roy until the very end.  I know we made the right choice, but that doesn't make it any easier or even bearable.

Yesterday we picked up his ashes.  The surgeon's office put them in a beautiful wooden box that was engraved with his name.  He feels somewhat closer to me and it's somewhat lessened the pain.  The surgeon's office also took the imprint of his paw in clay.  It means so much to me.  I have it on my dresser and find myself constantly tracing the lines of his paw print.  It's currently my most prized possession.

It's been a week ago today.  My house feels empty, and I subconsciously keep expecting to see him.  You would never expect how much room a 95 pound lab takes up in your home and heart.  But I've moved to a place where the pain isn't so severe.  For the first couple of days my heart hurt so much I couldn't breathe.  I kept waking up in the middle of the night sobbing or would have melt downs during the middle of the day.  Roy was a special dog.  I can't quite explain it, but there was something about him.  He probably had the pancreatitis the whole time we had him, and yet you'd never know it.  Even though he was probably in a good deal of pain, he was always happy and joyful.  Twenty years from now I will still miss him.

To anyone who's still reading, thank you.  I know that wasn't a happy story, but it makes me feel a little better sharing Roy's journey.  To close, I'd like to share a quote that's been helping me lately.

We cannot cure the world of sorrow, but we can choose to live in joy. - Joseph Campbell

I'll returning to the regularly scheduled programming soon.  Thank you for your understanding.

Rest in Peace Roy Hobbs

Roy Hobbs 

I never wanted a big dog.  Or at least I thought I didn't.  They jumped; they drooled; they shed everywhere; they were smelly.  But Jason always wanted a lab and desperately needed a running dog.

So when I came across a giant white lab that needed rescuing; I talked him into it.

I feel in love with Roy the minute I saw him.  He was kind, and gentle, and huge.  He was the quintessential big baby.

We only had the privilege of owning Roy for 6 months.  But in those 6 months he changed my life for the better.

Roy loved life.  He loved to smell the grass.  And lay in the sun.  He loved to chase squirrels and run around the dog park.

There are so many insignificant details about him that I will forever hold in my heart.  The velvety soft of his ears.  They way his fur glistened in the sunlight.  The fact that he always let Dolce win at tug of war.  The way he would nestle up against you.  The fact that he had perfectly white teeth (seriously, ask our vet).  How obedient he was and yet, simultaneously stubborn.

This is the last picture of have of them, before he got sick.

Roy Hobbs passed away this evening.  He will forever be missed and forever loved.

Danger Will Robinson!

Today I felt like I was living the movie Night of the Twisters.  Only it was day of the twisters and it was scary as hell.  In case you did not hear, there was a tornado outbreak in the DFW Metroplex today.  The early reports are estimating between 16-22 tornadoes were spotted in one day.  Crazy.  So I spent most of my day watching the news on my computer at work and dreading my ill-timed drive to class.

Actual picture of SMU today.

How did that drive work out for me?

There was a tornado warning in effect.

It was raining so hard I could barely see and the road was practically under water.

It was hailing.  Bad.

It was the worst 3 mile drive of my life.  Then I get to class and the tornado sirens start going off. No big deal.  Prof thinks this is a perfectly normal time to have class.  Pay no attention to the emergency texts/emails/phone calls from the school telling everyone to take cover.  Then some lady came into class to say we had to evacuate.  Fun.

Downtown Dallas

Everything turned out fine for us, but I'm pretty sure I need blood pressure medicine or a bottle big glass of wine.

Sunday Patio Time

Spring is my favorite season.  Everything is blooming, birds are singing, and the weather is usually perfect.  After 5 hours in the library on Sunday, a healthy dose of patio time and a perfect spring time cocktail were a perfect way to spend an evening.

Raspberry Beer Cocktail, adapted from Southern Living

This cocktail is perfect.  It's super easy to make.  Super refreshing and not too sweet.  The last thing I want to drink in warm weather is a cloyingly sweet drink.

Also, I'm a big fan of presentation.  Life is super busy, but I really enjoy taking time to make things special.  So yes, I always decorate my drinks at home and serve them on trays, even if it's only for Jason and me.  I find that the little moments, when given the chance, often become the ones I remember the most.

Ingredients:

• 4 Coronas
• 1 can raspberry lemonade, thawed
• 1/2 cup vodka
• 1/2 to 1 cup frozen or fresh raspberries
• Lemon slices to garnish

Mix all of the ingredients in a large pitcher.  Garnish with lemon slices and a spring of mint and enjoy.

Perfect.